Today I went to a GP, a new GP, to start the conversation about gender and it's impact on my life.
I saw a great GP who listened carefully and spoke about gender only as personal journey/approach that should be supported by the medical system in whatever way it can.
My diagnosis is "Gender Dysphoria" which used to be called Gender Identity Disorder (GID) and I think mostly it covers off the desire of someone to be in another genders body, a boy-girl, or girl-boy desire...which is not my case. It's a bit more complicated when you want a genderless body to match your genderless heart and mind!
So, yes, we went through things that I wanted for myself rather than using gendered names for things, and she talked through the side-effects/consequences of each and every one.
My only 'known' at this stage is that I want to stop menstruating, and that I am unhappy with my body (middle-aged weight gain on hips, tummy and breasts).
Hysterectomy, either full or part (to stop bleeding)
Top surgery, either removal or reduction of breast tissue
Progesterone tablets, implant, or IUD (to stop bleeding)
Testosterone - which we didn't talk about in any great detail, but covered the fact that some changes are permanent (facial hair and voice deepening)
So, I have been referred to a psychologist who has heaps of gender experience and also prescribed progesterone tablets, which are taken daily (aka the pill) to try the lowest impact method of stopping my period. I hope that I can come to a point with the psychologist that informs any/no further steps to take after this. I don't call this transition, the word still doesn't feel right for me, I might like to try metamorphosis instead.
I still don't quite know how I am going to get myself into a non-gendered reality, it feels like I am drowning in baby pinks and blues. I may be able to remove some of the distress, but will I ever actually look how I feel on the inside?